A Tricky Day
Veteran's Day is tricky in our home, assuming in lots of homes. My dad, on the right, with his brother Mark, on the left, served in WWII. While Mark served at sea, dad was overhead in a B24, flying back and forth across Germany, serving as a tail-gunner, working to obliterate the enemy. He does not talk often about this time of his life with our family; with total strangers, sure, but not so much with us. He also bristles if he's thanked 'for his service' - pushing it away with his hand, rarely even acknowledging well-intentioned comments. That said, he actually does want you to know he served and wants you to bring it up so he can bestow his wisdom on you. I'm a pacifist, like him, against war in general but his stance and his dismissal can be super awkward. He's decided to attend an event geared for veterans on Monday, a surprise to all of us and a definite first. Every Veteran's Day as neighbors put out big billowing American flags he puts out these tiny little flags (like the ones banks used to have) that he saves for the occasion, one for America, one for the Air Force and one for the 453rd, and he sits quietly, waiting for you to ask how he is so the bestowing of wisdom can begin. It's the same every year - someone calls or stops by and thanks him and he spirals and I spend the day trying to shake his mood - I tried talking about his service, didn't work, I tried not talking about his service, didn't work. He really just wants to wallow.
So many of us look to his generation as heroes, knowing America and the world would be a lot different if the outcome of the war had been different. On Monday he'll be met by a lot of thank you's and a lot of cheer from well meaning people and my guess is he'll be in the company of other veterans. I'm proud of him for going to the event but I also know he spirals quickly on this day, talking about his PTSD, (emphasizing every letter as if it's the first time we've ever heard of it), noting that he's the lone survivor of his bomber group, the 453rd, and talking about every single bad part of this experience, which is absolutely his right but there's never, ever any pride in what he and his generation accomplished and I think that is such a shame. So on this Veteran's Day, I will thank a veteran, they may brush my comment aside, but I hope they somehow hear my acknowledgement - that they stood up when others didn't or couldn't and for that I will always be grateful.
#Dad #VeteransDay #PTSD #war #WWII #survivor #Chicago
